Golden Tears

Warning: I was not thinking creative when I wrote this , just expression of my moods n stuff , dont expect this to be poetic if u bumped on it and dared reading it ... neways ve a nice day

 I am lying on my Bed 

Thinking of moments I smiled

There were times we sang

There were times we cried 

Life is a journey, n we have to travel

I saw many turns to reach middle of nowhere

We learnt some lessons together 

With memories forever

I want to say sorry today, for every pain I gave 

There is nothing more I want now in life

Everything I had is enough to be satisfied 

If you forgive I would now rest in skies 

I always tried to act, to be the best person

And very witfully hid the ugly face beneath 

But I know I am the part of the crime

If you forgive I would now rest in skies 

I wished I could have been a better man

I wish I had courage to stand, I wish I never ran

I wish I could have be like everyone

Busy with basics of life, no time for Sunday’s plans

I wish I could have loved like everyone

No idealism, just little expectations of a loving heart

I wish I must not have tried to be God

I wish hugs said more than flowers' cost

I want to say sorry today, for every pain I gave 

There is nothing more I want now in life

Everything I had is enough to be satisfied 

If you forgive I would now rest in skies 

I always tried to run, from my acts

portraited the picture as spectator demands

But tired of running I want to cry one last time  

If you lend me shoulder I would rest in skies

I can hear the music of final countdown 

There is no more passion, not even a single sound

I will never demand of heaven, 666 do not like lucky 7

I just never understood the use of materialism 

Still I wanted luxury, fame, power like stars on television

What I hated in people were pieces of me,

I hated them coz they were mirror of ugly me

Now let the mirrors loose the shine with a tear drop I close my eyes

-Karan(sunny)  

Pieces of you

Standing on the shore it clicked my mind.
The setting sun had glowed the dark so bright.
Can u hear the music of the waves;
so silent cries in the dawn of days?
I have walked alone a million miles, 
I no more get impressed by silent truth of lies
still can keep walking by the waves
I was just so cold n numb but yet all I do miss is,
the relief that comes from your presence 
The waves that night sang our song, took me back to my dawn


It dates back to the last time I was alive
I remember my words I once said
“Everyone is guilty and no one is ever spared or left"
My choice had never been wrong or right
My options were always two wrongs 
I had to select black that looks bit more white
I wish I could have been bit more selfish
But what mattered was how to hurt you the least
And I swear it had never been easy


I swallowed all the raindrops,
left umbrellas by your door
Princess dress should have no stain,
tried my best to take all your pain
But do hold me once if I start shivering in cold rain
No pity no mercy needed, I just got what I seeded
When I did hurt you I myself bled
Sorry is an easy word to escape; you left my soul
And who can run in eternal void space


And since then I don’t exist, I maybe alive but I do not live
However it wasn’t dead end of it
Being alive, there awaited yet more thrill.
The sea seemed to be elusive by the midnight
Dark could speak brighter than what light sees
I felt the alpha (beginning) and I touched the omega (end)
The feeling was more precious than one could spend in Vegas
The feel of truth bathed me that night
I wish I could say what I saw were mere lies


The ocean had got no idea of what I was upto
No wonder even I myself had no clue
I was merely pieces of its depth …
Boy! it hated me for that, it hated me to death
I know its kind of concentric maze
Its neither mine nor your image …
But I will help you to fetch the clue
Encrypting and deciphering the ashes for you
So lay back now, relax, an close your eyes


"Forget everything beautiful you know 
Think only of people or things you hated to death in your life
Bingo! So what was it?
A friend? A teacher? Someone very close to heart?
Or some mountebank who cheated you with his wit
Or is it the girl who lives next door,
right the one you call slut
The one who slept with half of your town?
Or the ugly lady in the corner, wearing a dirty gown


Is it one of his/her ex, 
or the guy/gal who dated him/her at your back?
Or maybe someone who do not believe in your god
The one you think killed your god,
someone who does not pray your sort
Kids on Halloween or that paranoid 
yeah one who screams world’s ending this Friday the 13th?
Or is it the god, who pretends to be deaf,
Or that awful sinner praying for success sitting on god’s chest


But before you or I blame anyone else
Lets recollect some pieces of our own self
I know it’s the hardest thing to do
Cause, what you actually hate to death are pieces of you
Now its natural if you hate me to death
I m your pieces, its you whom I reflect
When no one is around I don’t exist
And I mould into the image from your pieces
So I become as you insist
That's something you thought would never exist


I wonder what set me so free
Where I left the pieces that once made the real me
because since then I cease to exist
I am alive and well, but I no more live
so Surrendering to waves I slept on tides
That night was moonless, so I could not see
Though I traveled to depths of my void inside
The eternal silence held my hand
yes,like you I too have my own "no man's land"


When I opened my eyes there was this elusive sunrise
And I felt I was standing on heaven’s Island
I knew I will soon be back into life’s illusion
I looked at sun before I get so called I am alive delusion
The shining giant stared right in my eyes
we exchanged that dulcet devilish and evil smile
Message it gave was so simple, though mystifying 
“The brighter the star, the sooner it dies"


Written :Karan(sunny)
© 2009

Salvation-

I am the pieces of what I hate the most
In this material world even salvation costs
I have paid with all I have left
Let me now sleep, let me rest

A friend or Dream

A friend or Dream

The beauty of dreams I see is in the way you hold my hand

When I feel to cry, when the wounds are hard to dry

The essence of your touch make them disappear

But still you are my worst fear,

for I know that you are my creation

Diffrence b/w us is 2 worlds apart

diffrence b/w real and imagination

When you save me from my evil within, I name you angel

Still my lips can feel the kiss of yours,

I felt heaven beneath my toes

I was dreaming but I was cut short of breath

My heart was beating harder; solace was in cold of death

I wished to never open my eyes,

for I knew you would disappear with the twilight

I knew it wont be same again & I would wake up w/o your name

So bittersweet, I tasted the colors in the light;

Saw the music dancing in your eyes

They are moments of my dream; A dream more alive than life

When I give up and it's hard to survive

I want to feel you there by my side

although I know I am hallucinating

yet you are my only hope when all hopes are fading

I still dont know why you wanted me to kill

you gave me a gun, kissed me and said "go kill"

then you left me alone standing still

And once your image started fading away

I knew it wont be back till ages

I wish I was strong enough to fake

or atleast bless me with a power

a power to turn imaginary into real images

When you come and go and leave me in grief

the tears fall from my eyes coz I cud not believe

So let me my friend, give you an image with my words

let me try to describe you in my dreamworld

but all I remember is some sort of feeling

Are you really beautiful, or I feel so coz you are my healing

My visions and dreams is a sort of maze

I know you are most pretty; but I cant recall your face

With my closed I saw your open eyes

And they were seas of emotions in which I dived

with purity of perfect crystal, and with a heart of gold

with essence of mother nature, n the only solace to my pain

In my imagination she is a beautiful dame

She is my fantasy, a everlasting supporting hand

who needs reality when u fall in love with your imaginary friend

-Karan(sunny)

written - April 2008

Edited - october 2011

2008 version: See picture